Monday, May 29, 2006

I'm not afaid of death.. I'm only afraid seeing death..

Even when my bf bought me a tote bag from Nike (after countless efforts of finding the Adidas bag that I like very much).. Even when my bf bought me Revlon's 07 Spring Moss Eyeshadow (despite knowing that I already own 01 Copper Spice and 05 Blushed Wines) ....

Nothing can release me from the sadness that I'm having now...

My maternal grandma died.. as of tonight.. 28th May 2006..

I'll never get to see her beady eyes and big wide smile and I'll never get to hear her talking to me in Cantonese which, after so many years, I barely could understand what she's telling me..

She struggled for almost 8 years.. illness after illness.. She was still so strong and healthy when she was still living in the old farm at Upper Thomson.. After being asked to evict, and moving to the urban estates, her health gradually worsen..

Then she started changing her religious beliefs to Christianity at the grand old age of 90 (because of my eldest uncle, even when the rest of the family objected).. Just last year, at the age of 92, she hesitated and wanted to go back to Taoism but somehow my eldest uncle told her out of it.. Maybe she's afraid of death.. Maybe she thought Jesus or Goddess of Mercy can spare her from dying..

May be...

Everyone were already well-prepared for the worst.. Grandma already having problems eating and drinking during the past month.. Seeing her in such painful state, I rather wish that she can be released from such misery..

And now... she's released..

Peacefully in her sleep, she left us.. Without pain.. Without tears..

Grandma, please rest in peace and giving us your blessings.. I will always miss you.

In memory of my dearest Grandma..

Saturday, May 13, 2006

It's been a long time...

I know.. it's been a long time since I last blog.

Many things had happened.. which although I really wanna blog about it, I simply don't have the time or strength to open up my laptop and start blogging about it. (Truth: I'm too engrossed in either getting my work's data entry done at home- since it's a lot faster at night, or playing my Sims - I only have up to Superstar and The Longest Journey - it's quite an old game,probably launched in 2001-2, but it's really nice!) *grinz*

Whichever it is, I shall update bit by bit (whichever I can remember - I got short-term memory)

Bf's Big Shit update..
2 weeks ago, he went for Ultrasound scanning (no.. he's not preggy) and doctor found small bone fragments in his left ankle and slight inflammation.
I asked him if he broke his ankle before, bf replied he din, but he said it could be an injury which he gotten many years back when he was in his teens. He said he played basketball, and there was once he sprained his ankle quite badly but din see a doctor about it. So.. answer to his bone fragments from yester-years.
Last Thursday he went for checkup at NUH to meet his specialist doc, Doc. Boey. Doc said he's on his way to recovery, but still need some time to recover fully. She even advised him to stop going for his motorbike lessons, but w/o a motorbike license, bf's chances of being confirmed by the company is very minimal (he's already in a panicky stage of whether he will be asked to leave). He continued taking lessons anyway.. and has been working overtime ever since 1 month ago.

My update..
I was recently transferred to do Employer Servicing, meaning I'm dealing with employers now to get more job vacancies, instead of meeting jobseekers to get them jobs.
Then again, all ESC (Employer Servicing Consultants) are supposed to have at least 1 counter duty to meet jobseekers every week.

My contract was renewed by PA for another 2 more years.. hee hee..

Ever since the transfer, I've also been working overtime almost everyday till 8pm. Need to get most of my work done, since during day time, our system is ultra slow.

I'm sure almost everyone has gotten their Progress Package already, perhaps already spent the $$. I took a couple of hundreds out to go for shopping... ha ha ha
Went out with Awyn and Bf to Parkway Parade a week ago, from early afternoon onwards..
Shopping like crazy.. I bought 2 tops and 1 jacket.. It's hard to find plus-size clothes nowadays..
Club Marc from New York just opened it's first shop in PP, although expensive but theya re having a 60% sale storewide till tomorrow! That's where I bought my jacket, slashed from $79.90 to $32+, and I fit into their P1 size (minus the buttoning up.. what to do, you can't shrink bust size that easily.. WAHAHAHAHA)

Then again, I better start losing some weight before those shops decide not to bring in anything larger than XL. HA HA HA HA HA.. easier said than done..

Did I forget to mention, I even bought an epilator?! Awyn bought 1 from Braun, 3 days before me, and raved about it. Good bye to shaving armpit and leg hairs and having ingrown stubs! Welcome to clean shaven and silky smooth legs and armpits! (The other regions have yet to be experimented, MuHAHAHAHhaha)

Total damage for 1 day: $200 (exluding GST, and food/ drinks)
Awyn's damage: approx. $150 to $200 ..
Received: 2 tops, 1 jacket and 2 really touching smses from BF.
Awyn's loot: 2 boxes of coloured lens, 2 skirts, 1 top from Club Marc

Got a new colleague last week, her name's Joney. Previously working in IMH. Some say we both look quite alike (meaning size lar..) and we both wear specs. A lot of similarities..
1) we both go DP for clothes (basically there's where all plus sized ladies will go, and they are not CHEAP!)
2) we both graduate with a diploma and no money to take degree.. (ha ha ha)
3) we are both attached for 4 years .. (who says fat girls can't find good boyfriends)
4) we both wanna get married.. but BO LUI~!!

Only difference for both of us is that.. she doesn't like to put makeup (or dressed up, Joney says mainly becos' she doesn't know how to put makeup).. Taught her to read up from online, which was where I learnt from.. then of cos, there's Luluria (aka Maria) my other colleague cum buddy.. we had a makeup shopping spree the other day.. ho ho ho~

I believe I've heard or seen other ladies said this before.. no matter how long you have been together with your boyfriend or husband, you have to dress up even a little bit, to spice up your love life.. Men sometimes like surprises.. even dabbing on a bit of foundation, using mascara, or lipgloss, they will notice the extra things and be surprised!

Previously, I thought of just being myself, wear t-shirt and jeans when I go out with my bf, he sure won't mind (anyway.. he don't really bother too much on how I dress). But I think he kinda feel comforted when his friends saw me while we are walking on the streets and I'm not looking all shabby.. Muahhahahahha.. (self-praised~)

Makeup do make a woman feel more self-confident, and that's really important. When you feel confident, you feel good and look good (even in being plus size).

Metro Warehouse Sale now at Singapore Expo Hall 5 till 14 May!!!!!!!!
No more long q's for payment, it's super fast!!!!!

My review:
Big sale.. almost every single thing is really cheap!!! Lingerie cheap cheap.. perfumes cheap cheap.. makeup cheap cheap.. shoes cheap cheap.. clothes cheap cheap.. bedlinen cheap, pillows/ blosters ultra cheap...

Total damage: $177 (heng .. bf pay by his CC) + $170 (from Challenger)
Received: 1 skirt (thank god can wear), 1 surfers' shorts (bloody hell.. buy liao cannot wear! I MUST lose weight!), 2 bras (obviously I underestimate my boobs, perhaps mum can wear), Bf's loot- 2 adidas perfume, 4 pairs of toe socks, 3 singlets, 3 Renoma undies, 2 pillows (buy 1 get 1) and 1 bolster + 1 256mb Creative Nano Zen plus with FM radio (Mama day present), 2 laptop cooling balls (Annie's request) and 2 Xbox games (at $21.90 each)

I think both of us spent too much this month...
Still got Car's instalment+ Insurance+Road Tax to pay soon..

My performance bonus is going to be zeroised soon... ArGhh...